Reality TV=Mothers Gone Mad

Bad role models for moms run wild on TV, in society

Thanks to the popularity of reality shows, everyday citizens have gone from average to infamous and lead lives that rival scripted sitcoms in their levels of drama and outrageousness. The intimate innerworkings of family life are on display instead of off-limits.

The questionable parenting skills of those in the spotlight — Kate Gosselin , Michelle Duggar, the various cast members of MTV’s Teen Mom, etc. — have become favored fodder for water-cooler conversations, talk shows and therapist case studies across the country.

Given the mind-boggling levels of depravity and dysfunction, it’s hard to believe that the lives and actions of fictitious characters in sitcoms past were once considered bad role models and poor examples of modern motherhood.

Sure, Murphy Brown dared to pursue her career and become a single parent by choice, but isn’t the televised example of purposefully procreating teens a far more disturbing image? Clair Huxtable was once vilified for being an “unrealistic” portrayal of an African-American mother. But these days, a polar opposite such as Celebrity Rehab ’s Frankie Lons (the estranged biological mother of R&B singer Keyshia Cole) gets multiple seasons of screen time. Even the sex-kitten shopaholic Peg Bundy appears saintly in comparison to her modern-day counterparts.

Fortunately, as a proud member of the ’80s baby era, I was lucky enough to grow up watching more wholesome portrayals of motherhood and family life. In addition to the groundbreaking Cosby Show, there was Florida Evans of Good Times, Mabel Thomas of What’s Happening!! and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’s Vivian Banks.

Despite the differing income levels, locations and marital statuses, I was able to recognize their similar goals — to love and support their children through the ups and downs of life — and happily shared those sitcoms with my own kids when I became a mother. But the one modern sitcom my household regularly enjoyed — the brilliant and hilarious Everybody Hates Chris — was canceled years ago, while programs celebrating excess and ignorance keep getting the green light.

Since this tawdry type of programming has already been proven to create higher levels of aggression and antisocial behavior in children, we have to ask ourselves questions: Where is the line drawn between idiocy and entertainment, and more importantly, when do we start?

Thankfully, there are signs that this troubling trend might on be on the path of decline: Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s, a docu-drama that follows an entrepreneur as she manages a family and multiple soul food restaurants in St. Louis was just renewed by Oprah Winfrey’s OWN network.

Lawyer and multimedia personality Star Jones also has spoken out, publically criticizing the scandalous behavior of the mothers who appear on the wildly popular Basketball Wives. On Twitter she demanded that everyone clean up their acts: “It may be ‘comfortable’ to be quiet when women of color slap … each other and run across tables barefoot, but #ENOUGHisENOUGH. [L]ittle black girls deserve more than what we’re giving!”

It may be a lot to wish for, but with Mother’s Day right around the corner, my hope is that, alongside the flowers, candy and gift cards, mothers who demand ambition and excellence get more media spotlight and bigger paychecks than their more salacious counterparts.

Instead of televising the escapades of self-absorbed women who use babies as bargaining chips and switch out spouses like worn-out light bulbs, why don’t we spotlight the ones who may not be as “camera-ready,” yet shine like gems in our homes, schools, workplaces and communities because they build up their children with kindness and college funds instead of spending it on their bustlines?

Now that would be “must-see TV.”

Lorrie Irby Jackson is a Briefing columnist. Email her at lorrie.irby@gmail.com.

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    March 3, 2014 at 8:43 pm
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