Well, it was beautiful while it lasted right?
Slowly but surely, many of us are having to return to the office. Our work group is on-site now three days a week. Layla was a big help and accompanied me to the office on early Saturday morning, helping me to clean out my desk and bring home the non-essential items so that my boss could settle us into the designated workspace. Our original return date was supposed to have been Feb. 1, but with the ice storm closing down schools and making driving a hazardous endeavor, it ended up being pushed back.
As with any change, there is both pros and cons about being with co-workers once again: lunches with work buddies is a bonus, for example, as well as hands-on training and meetings with the higher-ups that help more than simply reading instructions online. However, what’s also become more prevalent in the last few years is why many people, especially those of color, actually prefer working at home, and it’s not just because of the fluctuating gas prices and the rigors of commuting: it’s the unfortunate return to working with less-than-sensitive people who fail to honor boundaries, reciprocate common courtesies and even commit microaggressions—constant behavioral or verbal slights that display implicit biases, prejudices and hurtful stereotypes—against those belonging to historically marginalized groups. Whether they are covert or obvious, the result is the same: heightened stress levels that can not only impact performance, but inadvertently create a hostile work environment that no one wants to contend with, especially in a mediation meeting….or worse, the parking lot.
I’ve been with my present company for a few years and luckily, haven’t had to contend with much ignorance at the workplace. But since so many of us are having to wade together into the unpaved territory of this new ‘normal’, I can share a few tips to help insure people know what someone can take offense to and ways to avoid the faux pas….or at least keep them to a bare minimum.
1. As I previously mentioned, due to heinous stereotypes, black women especially have had to contend with being considered less ‘delicate’ and feminine than their white counterparts. I read of a particularly egregious workplace encounter recently where a white woman, after asking her black coworker to open a jar for her, then referred to the woman as “being ‘half a man'” after accomplishing the task. EXCUSE ME?!? A simple ‘thank you’ couldn’t have sufficed? Please do not attribute any masculine qualities or treat us like ‘magical negroes’ for surpassing a lowered set of expectations that we can’t control. We are just as human as you are and want to be related to as such.
2. When I was sending the kids off to school for the first time, I taught them that they are not on display and don’t have to tolerate being ‘petted on’ by peers or adults. Meaning, no touching of their skin or hair texture just because the other party is curious. Children who do this deserve a lot more patience than adults, who ought to know better than to put their hands on someone without asking permission first. As we emerge from the active throes of a pandemic, even if you think you know the person, please be courteous and make sure it’s alright before reaching out.
3. if the man or woman you’re speaking to has a name you’re unfamiliar with saying and spelling, ask them for the proper usage and make an effort to honor it. Few things are more dismissive than arrogantly bestowing a nickname (“I’ll call you Ashley instead of Iesha”) or repeatedly mangling it.
As we reenter the office, keeping up with deadlines and traffic are enough to deal with: let’s not add diminished dignities to the list.
