Knock on wood, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, Calvin and I will
celebrate another wedding anniversary next month. Joyously, during the holiday season in 2005, the two of us stood before friends and family, exchanged rings and vows and sealed, with a kiss, our promises to love, honor and cherish one another, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

Enjoying a beautiful ceremony and living out the dilemmas of married life, however, can be two different things. In the eight years that we’ve lived
together, adding children to the equation and navigating the minefields that
partnership and parenting create have presented challenges that we still continue to grapple with, but among our struggles, infidelity isn’t one of them. And even if it were to arise—heaven forbid—I wouldn’t put that betrayal on blast for all the world to see, a reality now possible thanks to the omnipotence of social media and sites like shesahomewrecker.com.

Don’t blink. You read that right. Apparently, in the last few weeks, this
website has exploded in popularity and boasts more than half a million Facebook
“likes.” It allows scorned wives and girlfriends to put a cyberspace-level
spotlight on “everyone from the Hollywood Homewrecker to the average white
picket fence destroying women who just can’t seem to let go of your husbands
and boyfriends!” The home pages features stories from jilted women, with
pictures included, of the actual or alleged side-chick caught
wrecking a relationship. Details about the guilty parties can be as
shocking and salacious as the affairs themselves and trust me, few adjectives
are spared (or family-friendly):

“So she is a local stripper that found my husband on face book. ….We have been together since 2003 and she pretty much got him to leave me for her and her 3 kids.” “I found out September 2013 that Suzanne had been sleeping with my husband and was still pretending to be my friend. …She apologized for flirting and making out with my husband but hasn’t yet said she was sorry for sleeping with him.” For every story posted, comments range from the sympathetic to the strident as the innocent party relishes in any karma the ex and accused homewrecker have since suffered.

Since it’s not a crisis that I can relate to directly, I can only imagine
the multiple levels of heartbreak and humiliation that
these ladies are feeling. It’s the iciest of cold shots, I’m sure, to
discover that the man you gave your heart and soul to has conveniently
forgotten his ‘forsaking all others’ pledge and is giving what shouldn’t be
shared to another woman.

Until we’re forced to face that type of drama in our own lives, it’s typically very hard to say what we as individuals would do, especially when there are finances, families and children involved.

But me, ending up on a website like shesahomewrecker.com? Never happening. And I’ll tell you why.

To begin with, my husband would be the only person I’d take out my fury on. He’s the one owing me loyalty, after all, not Side Chick. Furthermore, taking the time to save Side Chick’s image to my hard drive and re-post it in cyberspace with painful personal details where my children can eventually read them one day? PLEASE.

In the words of my favorite rapper Ice Cube, “No, I’m not goin’ out
that way.” Revenge feels good for the moment. But the best payback is the suffering felt by your former partner when he realizes
that he now has Astroturf, and that, had he just put in a little more effort, he
might’ve had the greener grass he yearned for in the first place.

Marriages, ours included, are inherently imperfect, and sometimes, the damage can be far too great to repair. But when a building is already on fire, which solution is a more constructive one: cold water or kerosene?

(If you think or know that your man is cheating, good luck, God bless and click here for tips and advice)