August, 1945: a sailor charges into the street, pulls a nurse into his arms and bends her backwards with a forceful kiss. The impulsive “Nurse and Sailor” embrace became an iconic American image. For decades, it personified a renewed and romantic lease on life after the brutal conflict of World War II.

However, as saying goes, “things aren’t always what they seem.” According to a recently-released book The Kissing Sailor: The Mystery Behind the Photo That Ended World War II, the shot captured by Life Magazine staff photographer Alfred Eisenstaedt didn’t crystallize a loving moment in time, but an assault out of nowhere on a total stranger.

In an interview provided 60 years later transcribed by the Veterans History Project, “nurse” Greta Zimmer Friedman said that she was a 21-year-old dental assistant at the time and left the office on her lunch hour after hearing news that the war had ended.

“I went straight to Time’s Square where I saw, on the lighted billboard that goes around the building. .. ‘V-J Day, V-J Day! Suddenly, I was grabbed by a sailor….I found out later he was so happy that he didn’t have to go back to the Pacific where they had already been through the war.”

When asked about the famous lip-lock with a then-22-year-old George Mendonsa, Friedman confirmed that it wasn’t romantic. “That man was very strong. It wasn’t my choice to be kissed… The guy just came over and grabbed!”

Although she holds no ill will toward Mendonsa (who admitted being inebriated at the time) and remains cordial with his family, she declined to re-enact the pose when the magazine reunited them in 1980 and categorizes the event as a symbol of a joyous time.

With the new facts coming to light, many people went online discussing whether or not it was spontaeneous fluke of the moment or an attack caught on film. Comments veered from one extreme to the next: “Chill out, its a happy story and he was merely expressing his excitement that the war was over.” “The woman being kissed was an Austrian Jewish refugee who… endured a sexual assault by a stranger and had a photo of it enrich a magazine. Disgusting.” Some even proclaimed Mendonsa ‘earned the right.’ Wow. If it had been that commenter’s mother, sister or daughter, would that response still apply?

Until it happens to you, it’s hard to imagine how violating that breach of boundaries can be. When I see the “Nurse and Sailor” shot, I recall the time that I met a male performer for a story I was writing about his new CD; right after we were introduced, he suddenly pulled my face into his and briefly, but fully, kissed me on the lips.

After my initial shock, I was able to continue, but enduring such overwhelming and intimate contact with a complete stranger in a public setting was an experience that I hope never to repeat.

In a world that’s swelling with billions of inhabitants and technology allowing us unfettered access to private and privileged information, our bodies function as the physical manifestation of our inner selves and should be off-limits.

Finding someone attractive or wanting to ‘live in the moment’ shouldn’t be a reason to invade someone’s private space, and when people still believe that strangers should get ‘one free feel’ of another person just because, the state of our so-called ‘information-driven’ society is just as alarming as the truth behind that nostalgic photo.

I can only hope that, for the sake of our future men and women, a brighter future picture awaits.