In the last few years, a disturbing trend has emerged due to the prevalence of social media and the emergence of instant “real time” reactions to news stories and events. It’s a concept that politicians, candidates and other famous folks have bandied about in order to walk back an offensive remark or comment once it’s been shared in a tweets or news feeds.

It’s The Tongue Slip/Misspeak Syndrome. Used to explain how and why an ugly or ignorant phrase fell out of one’s mouth, the syndrome follows a mad media fervor and is later offered up as a cryptic apology of sorts, The situation they’re attempting to apply it to is typically such a deliberate one that the only thing they’re likely sorry about is, well, getting caught.

That troubling trend was demonstrated recently when a Michigan town clerk, Gloria Platko, incited the ire of the NAACP and caused a special meeting to be called for her resignation from the Buena Vista Township Hall after a recorded phone conversation between Platko and revealed her describing the town supervisor, Dwayne Parker, as an “uppity [n-word].”

Before apologizing to the board members and the community at large (but never directly to Parker), Platko called the use of the explosive epithet “a slip of the tongue” and invoked the tired “I-have-black-friends” argument when further pressed about her choice of words.

Seriously, Ms. Platko? If she actually weren’t prejudiced, other, more generalized terms would’ve crossed her mind when speaking of her colleague, like “idiot,” “jerk,” “moron” or “imbecile.” You know—words that sum up her opinion of Mr. Parker’s personality or work performance without contemptuously maligning his race.

But as a good-and-grown elected official, Platko purposely injected one of the most hateful words of the English language into a conversation and expects Parker, or any other black person who encounters her in the future, to believe that she embraces diversity and regards them as equals. Right. And I’m Heidi Klum’s twin sister.

When the meeting went down late last month and the symbolic resolution passed after five “yes” votes, some of her supporters were very vocal about why Platko needs to remain on her post, calling the use of the n-word an “unfortunate” event, but that Parker needed to “put his big boy pants on” and move forward.

Beyond Parker’s forgiveness of the “hurtful and painful” slur, what else is he supposed to do? Why is the onus upon him to get along when Platko obviously has the problem? Life-long bigotry is not a character flaw that a few one-on-one lunches can fix.

Aside from private reflection and the examining one’s motives, the most effective mea culpas are the ones that reflect error and accountability. In other words, simply apologize. If more people would acknowledge the gravity of their mistake and ask for the chance to move forward, it would accepted as a genuine effort and return the respect that may have been lost.

But when our intelligence is insulted by someone who wants us to believe that they have such little self-control that offensive utterances “just slip” or, even worse, were misconstrued, credibility is shot and likely, so are relationships, public trust, and careers.

There are some that shrug off anything that might be said, especially those who are ardent supporters of The First Amendment. But having the freedom to say something doesn’t remove the ramifications from having done so. And when nasty words are spat out, the awful taste lingers long after they’ve left the lips.