Hard at work during the day, dinner with family in the evenings and weekends full of dance classes or outings with the wife and kids. It’s a rhythm that our patriarch, Calvin, has settled into over the last several years. And despite daily challenges that arise from being a stepfather, father and husband, he often confesses that he cherishes those roles and wouldn’t change a thing.

But according to my in-laws, there was a time that few of them imagined their “Cal” to do anything other than remain, well, a certified “playa-playa.” Just over a decade ago, to hear them tell it, Calvin would put in long hours during the week, wine and dine ladies by night and spend his free weekends within a few feet of pool tables and dance floors.

But eventually, the roller-coaster ride of serial monogamy became dizzying instead of delightful, and Calvin settled down. He encountered Yours Truly in January of 2005 and right before Christmas of that same year, Calvin and I became husband and wife.

It was an occasion that many thought would never arrive. In fact, one of Calvin’s cousins practically joked that flags would fly at half-staff to signal “Playa Down” for our union’s first year. But Calvin embraced his new stage in life and takes his vows seriously, unlike some men.

During a recent appearance on the season two premiere of Bravo’s hit series Untying The Knot, the show’s relationship therapist asked Memphitz if he had ever been unfaithful during their four years of marriage. His response sent social media into a frenzy: “No. Not without my hall pass!” Memphitz said Wright allowed him “eight days a year to do what I wanna do—no questions asked.”

Um, wait a minute—an annual eight day ‘hall pass’ to disregard the wedding vows, and a one-sided hall pass at that? Seriously? In what parallel universe did Toya think that would work? If I were Mrs. Wright, I wouldn’t have cared if the man was as fine as Morris Chestnut or as wealthy as Bill Gates. No husband would be worth the shredding of my well-being and self-esteem. Marriage is about coasting life’s waves, riding through the storms and choosing to ‘forsake all others.’

“That whole ‘hall pass’ mess is just trifling,” Calvin told me after listening to a radio show discussion of the viral event earlier this week. “I would be cheating on our whole family if I were to be with another woman, not just on you. I took my vows for a reason, and it sounds like he should’ve never gotten married in the first place. Ripping and running with different women all the time gets old and Memphitz is gonna get tired of buying drinks all night for different ladies at club after club, you know what I mean?”

Personally? Well, not quite. But I know the ladies Calvin spends time with these days all live under the one roof, and the only playing around he does is with his adoring baby girls. I look forward to celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary soon and I hope that the former Mrs. Wright will someday enjoy the rewards of being with one-time “playa-playa” who wants to be with her—no hall pass required.