Picture it: April of 2008, Grand Prairie TX. It a balmy evening that felt more like summer than springtime, but it didn’t keep me from trembling….because I was holding hands with, and in the presence of, royalty: The Queen of Soul.

That was a moment in time I will always cherish, especially now that Aretha Franklin passed away last week. Whether it was “Do Right Woman, Do Right Man,” “Respect,” “Chain of Fools” or any other generation-defining songs, the Aretha Franklin catalog was chock-full of goodies that my parents kept well-stocked and on deck at all times. I was raised on Aretha’s church-dipped riffs, saucy growls and soaring wails, so having to say goodbye to her felt like losing a family friend. I may not have gotten the photo I wanted backstage, but dozens of onlookers, my father included, witnessed me locking eyes and holding hands with Franklin, gushing to her what an honor it was to meet her, how I grew up listening to her and how wonderful it was to have covered her performance.

I have to admit—-given Ms. Franklin’s reputation for speaking her mind and sometimes shading folks who rubbed her the wrong way, I was more anxious than I usually was when meeting a star. But since she was cordial to us, apparently we passed Aretha’s test. Witnessing her talents in person was incredible enough, but having one-on-one contact with the Queen herself? That was a privilege I will never forget.

Since Aretha Franklin was an established powerhouse years before I was born, her music is such an integral part of my life experience that it’s difficult to determine when the content of her musical messages started resonating as much as her vocals. But No matter what stage of growth I arrived to, from childhood to adulthood to womanhood, there was a song that met me where I was and anticipated where I would go……or could someday become. Besides the instantly-recognizable classics, however, I wanted to share some of the gems that were always in my playlists and kept my admiration of Aretha Franklin on a perpetual high note (pardon the pun)….

1. “Jimmy Lee” (1986)— Aretha was well-versed in turning her pain into power: thanks to teenaged motherhood, an abusive early marriage and the loss of her family members during the 80s, that well of anguish is likely where she drew her inspiration for this upbeat ode to first love: when she pleads, “Won’t you please explain to me/Why you left me, all behind you,” the rawness makes it seem as if she’s asking the same of her dearly departed as well.

2. “Willing to Forgive” (1994)—What could have been a standard “you-did-me-wrong” ballad became a cathartic kiss-off when delivered by Aretha; after sagely recalling clues of his infidelity (“I saw her picture, and I smelled her CHEAP perfume/hmph, musta’ come from you”), her dismissal of his excuses (“you’re such a liiiiar”) feels more insulted than emotional.

3. “It Hurts Like Hell” (1995)— Performed as part of the Waiting to Exhale movie soundtrack, this song seemed to expound on her often-publicized wish to settle down with a new ‘Dr. Feelgood’ she could settle down with, yet feeling too vulnerable to try: “Here we are, the two of us, so full of love, so little trust/ But dying for some tenderness, oh, but too afraid to take the step.” If you haven’t been there, Aretha’s delivery is a road map of what to expect.

4. “A Rose Is Still a Rose” (1998)–While many of her peers were eschewing hip-hop, the then-56-year-old superstar hooked up with the former Fugees’ frontwoman, Lauryn Hill, and was paid off with her biggest 1990s-era hit: Franklin’s vocal pacing not only keeps up with the beats, she still shares a hard-learned truism that it still takes most women decades to learn: “Let your life be in the sunshine, not the darkness of your sorrow/You may see you’re lost today, but new love will come tomorrow/Don’t believe that life is over, just because your man is gone/Girl, love yourself enough to know/that without him your life goes on.”

We may not ever experience an artist of her virtuosity again, our generation was graced with the Queen of Soul. Rest well Auntie Ree-Ree….your music lifts and soothes us all as you cruise heaven’s “Freeway of Love.”