Today, as you’re reading this, Christmas is a memory, Kwanzaa and Hanukkah are being observed and we stand at the cusp of a new decade. Amidst the common resolutions improve, some find it helpful to list what positive goals they’ve achieved and ways that they’ve, well, missed the mark. 2019 is no exception.

If you’re a regular viewer of NBC’s Saturday Night Live, you’re probably familiar with “Black Jeopardy,” a skit that mirrors the long-running quiz show and features topics and cultural references unique to African-Americans. One category, “What You Not Gonna Do,” describes a phrase used to warn against thoughtless behaviors that could result in serious consequences. No one is perfect, of course, but some folks were so out-of-pocket in 2019 that their egregiousness should be pointed out as, well…..you know the rest.*

1) Harvey Weinstein and R. Kelly: one is a former powerhouse film producer and Miramax entertainment company co-founder, another a Grammy-Award-winning singer and songwriter once crowned by fans as “the King of R&B.” Both men reached enviable heights of wealth and influence, only to cannibalize their legacies (and freedom) by their unrelenting exploitation of women and girls. The lesson? What you not gonna do is get away with abuse of power and destroying the lives others: the tables will always turn and the temporary gains are never worth what’s lost.

2) College Admissions Scandal: earlier this year, college prep professional William Singer pled guilty to bribing coaches and university administrators into recruiting non-athlete students into elite sports programs and fabricating college entrance exam scores. Among the people charged with bribery, money laundering, and document fabrication were actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin, who instead of employing tutors and coaches for their daughters, paid for high exam scores and faked athletic achievements to secure admission to elite universities. An immediately contrite Huffman pled guilty and served 11 days in prison, while Loughlin declined a plea bargain and is insisting there’s a conspiracy against herself and her husband, Mossimo Gianulli, to hide evidence of their innocence. Yeah, okay ‘Aunt Becky’: what you not gonna do is arrogantly double-down in gaming a system that favored you both disproportionately to begin with.

3) T.I. and “Hymengate”: a few months ago, T.I. earned major blowback for publicly declaring (via a now-deleted podcast episode), that he accompanied his now college-aged daughter to her annual exams and insisted on hymen checks to prove her virginity. In a recent follow-up chat with Jada Pinkett Smith on her Facebook-hosted talk show, Red Table Talk, T.I. insisted he “exaggerated,” yet still co-signs the double standards in male vs. female sexuality. He also said that, until meeting with Jada, he didn’t know what the term ‘patriarchy’ meant (?). How you raise your children is your business, but what you not gonna do is earn respect or sympathy when toxic masculinity is involved.

4) Wendy Williams Protesting Too Much: it was only last spring that talk show host Wendy Williams struggled personally and professionally as her marriage imploded on a national stage. Reports from The Daily Mail of her then-husband’s infidelity, mistress and out-of-wedlock baby was exposed with relentless precision by the British tabloid, stressing her to the point of collapse on live TV and admission into a sober house. So why did she dismiss Duchess Meghan’s visible distress in a recent ITV documentary re the viciousness of that same press? Instead of offering sympathy, Williams openly chided her pain in an October segment of Hot Topics: “Nobody feels sorry for you. You knew what you were signing up for, girl!” Um….couldn’t the same be argued of you also Wendy? What you not gonna do is throw stones of pettiness when your own glass house obviously cracked under the same brute force.
*Dishonorable Mentions: Jay-Z’s duplicitous NFL deal, Culture-Vulture/Hypocritical Kardashians, #NotMyMermaid

Knowledge is power and let’s hope the aforementioned will start using it. Happy 2020 everyone!