“The ruin of a nation begins in the homes of its people.”

African Proverb

All of us make mistakes and accept less than we’re worthy or capable of one time or another when it comes to love and relationships. Sometimes there are unhealthy patterns established by family, then there can be substance abuse and mental illness, etc., that add to the toxic mix. But there comes a time that we have to decide that just because one CAN doesn’t mean one SHOULD and we cannot let others fall into our abysses for our own selfish reasons, ESPECIALLY our children. The fault lies on ALL sides: women need to vet who they share DNA with, men need to explore their BC options or learn to abstain. Most of all, society needs to quit turning a blind eye and enabling the madness. It starts with us.

We are aware that there is something going on in the African-American community and beyond that is producing a generation of people who do not fit into the mold of the traditional American lifestyle. We don’t always know what to call it, but we will continue to mislabel it until we become willing to see it and talk about it as something more than a television program. We may not all agree about the causes of or the solutions for family dysfunction and the breakdown of cohesive communities, but we must become willing to discuss and address it without judgment. We have embraced a culture of diminishing responsibility by giving new names to traditional roles. Do the baby daddies and mamas not have the same responsibilities as fathers and mothers? Or, are they simply obligated to send checks, buy diapers and not attack the new boyfriends or girlfriends? How does it feel, and what is the impact on self-value, -worth and -esteem to be a child whose father is absent and whose mother wants to test his or her saliva to determine which of the several men she slept with must send her a check? How do we ignite and engage in a social conversation about the things that are destroying the very fibers of our ability to be healthy, productive individuals if we cannot look at the people who demonstrate the problems without calling them names (and attacking those who bring these stories to public awareness)? How do we make the distinction between exploitive entertainment and the possibilities of inner-tainment, programming that provides us with an opportunity to see ourselves publicly within the sacred confines of our own homes (HuffPost) ?